if i died would you start the facebook group?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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