oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
