omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
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She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
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That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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