do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
