Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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