Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
