i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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