Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
