how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
