So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
