this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
