you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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