i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
