I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
smell my finger.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
