My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
do herpes really smell.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
