When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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