Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(928): View more from Arizona

Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss

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(970): View more from Colorado

Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.

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(661): View more from California

TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(727): View more from Florida

Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.

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(925): View more from California

Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.

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(310): View more from California

Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.

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