weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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