what if every blade of grass was a penis?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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