I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
