so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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