Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
