girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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