just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
