Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
