I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
