TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
