This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
ugly people sure do ruin things
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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