oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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