I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
