This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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