I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize