I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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