Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize