i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
