They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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