I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My balls are so social today.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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