batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
