Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize