o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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