i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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