Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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