It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
