you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
