Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
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You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
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Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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