Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
