Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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