It's Friday. Sex?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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