you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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