I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
