shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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