Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
