I think I am morally bankrupt
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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