I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
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im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
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This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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