It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
