Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
