9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize