escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize