I think I won the penis lottery.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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