Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
