Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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