Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
