anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
