ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
