dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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