do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Terrible idea I love it
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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