i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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