His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
