That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
