This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
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The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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