I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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